another list of things i would write about if i was in the presence of mind to write:

time
trees
old friends
outsiders who want to be on the inside
outsiders who like being on the outside
insiders who don't realize what it means to be in
insiders who want to get out
human beings as a species
the scope of history
enduring through the winter
how birds are dinosaurs
how dogs are wolves
forests
how forests are different in different parts of the world
everything is layers
things that are quintessential
the way small things in the present have big ripples on the future
taking responsibility for your actions
CHOOSE
today is tomorrow's yesterday
reasons why i wake up in the morning
things i used to do
things i do now
things i want to do
when dreams cross and multiply
compromise
on being isolated
on having a community
if there could ever be a community of isolated people?
things that help me see clearly
things that obscure my vision
gentleness

TIME

Is time a clock and a calendar? Or is it something less linear? My time in Japan is bounded on one end by 2008 September 2 and on the other by 2009 June 15. Each day, my activities mostly revolve around the train schedule. I must leave my house by 945 three days a week, or else I will not get to school before class begins. Going home from Kyoto each day is also dependent on which train I catch. Being held back five minutes after a 430 class can sometimes mean 25 minutes added to my commute home, simply because of the patterns of the trains. My host parents have at least 5 calendars in public spaces around the house, and I have two more in my room, because we are always thinking and talking about events on upcoming days. 

One such event was the AKP new year's party, or the "budding talents" party, or as I have been referring to it since mid-November, the "juu-hachi nichi party" (１８日パーティー, literally, party on the 18th). It was yesterday, 2009 January 18 (go figure), and I have been looking forward to it for so long because I played taiko in front of all of AKP and all their host families and a bunch of other people. Six women from my group came and brought drums and we played 3 songs. My host dad videoed it on my camera and I am working on getting them up on youtube, and when I figure that out I will post them here. It was SO fun. Playing taiko is really the best thing I am doing with my time (there's that word again) this year, in this place. 

(thanks to my friend Mia for the photo)

Also I displayed my epic art project, which was very strange. The first part of the day I was too busy stressing about how to display it to be stressed about taiko. But the women from Uzu came pretty much one minute after I got it all hung up, so I immediately had to start preparing for taiko stuff. The art project (called "Cosmos") was really well received, which I didn't really expect. 

Side note: my elective classes this semester. They have only met twice each but already I think they are going to be WAY better than last semester. I am taking Japanese Religion and Japanese Ecology. The Religion prof is from Canada and has been living in Japan for 12 years. She is as weird as you can imagine, but seems really knowledgeable about Shinto and Buddhism, and the New Religions. And we are going on some cool field trips. My ecology prof is a REAL biology professor, not an "asian studies scholar," and has done a ton of research on Japanese ecology before. His specialty is ornithology, and he has gotten everyone in the class so excited to learn about the three dozen or so bird species that live in the Kyoto area in the winter and spring. We already went on a field trip, to a marsh in the north of the city, and looked at some duck species and some not duck species that are living there right now. 

Birds--birds are dinosaurs. Think about it. And the next bird you see, really look at it, and see how it walks, how it moves, how it flies. 

back to the life

The end of winter break passed without much going on. Hannah and I went to Nara one day and we walked around and went to the big Buddha and went to a beautiful shrine (all the things there are to do in Nara). Another day I was sick and didn't do anything. Over the course of 5 or so days I read the entirety of White Teeth by Zadie Smith. Which reminds me, some folks have been asking me about what I have been reading, so here are the books I have read since coming to Japan: 

The Elephant Vanishes (short stories) by Murakami Haruki

The Botany of Desire by Michael Pollan

A Pattern Language by Christopher Alexander and a bunch of other architects

The Silent Cry by Oe Kenzaburo

Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card

Out Stealing Horses by Per Petterson

Life is Elsewhere by Milan Kundera

The Old Capital by Kawabata Yasunari

The Book Thief by Markus Zusak

The Hero with a Thousand Faces by Joseph Campbell

White Teeth by Zadie Smith

One of my new year's resolutions is to keep reading, a lot. I bought The Dragons of Blueland, the third in the My Father's Dragon series, in Japanese, except in Japanese it is called Elmer and the 16 Dragons. I started reading that but it is pretty slow going. 

Another New Year's resolution is to bike a lot more. I bought a bike, which should help. It is only an hour and a half from my house to school, so especially when the weather starts to get better, I will definitely be biking all over the Kyoto outskirts. 

I have only had Japanese class the past 2 days of class, but I am pretty excited for it. My teacher this semester, Kuwahira-sensei, I thought would be cool and aloof, but I was wrong. She is totally off the wall bonkers! So far she has gotten very excited about: having us conjugate verbs into the passive form, my presentation on being hung over during my new years shrine visits with my host family, and a vocab quiz we have next week. Her handwriting is a little sloppy but only because she is writing so quickly, because she is so excited about writing stuff on the board. 

I also bought bachi (taiko drumsticks) of my own so I can actually practice taiko at home. I think I am also going to buy a drum. 

Yesterday I went with Hannah and Richard to see K-20, a Japanese movie that had an amazing poster. The poster was so wild, even, that we based the decision to see the movie entirely on the strength of the poster. Bad idea. We really didn't understand very much of the movie, not because we didn't understand the dialogue, but because the movie just didn't make very much sense. 

Happy New Year!!!

明けましておめでとうございます！

Winter break has been going really well. My mom came to visit, and I thoroughly enjoyed showing her lots of cool places in Tokyo, Hiroshima, and Kyoto. Some of my favorite moments:

-Shibuya crossing 

-Tokyo Tower on its 50th anniversary

-Sushi at the Tsukiji fish market

-the day spent with my host parents

-hiking Fushimi Inari in very cold weather, and discovering snow halfway up the mountain

-turning 21 at Itsukushima Shrine, and a ridiculous Japanese dinner at a Japanese style inn

-realizing that I am actually very adept at Japanese

I had been most of the places we went already, but it was really fun seeing my mom see them for the first (only?) time. We had lots of great conversations about all sorts of things, especially how strange Japan is, what it means to have a hobby, what it means to be skillful at something, how different people travel different paths, being a tourist vs. being a resident, the nature of cities, the bomb... It occurred to me today how strange it is that I have been to Hiroshima, the peace park and peace museum, three times, but I have been to Washington DC only once. 

She left on New Year's Eve day, and I came home and unpacked and relaxed for a bit before going out for the night. New Year's Eve is a different holiday in Japan than it is in America--the important part of the holiday is January 1-3, when you relax at home with your family and eat a very traditional meal (it's the same meal for breakfast and dinner for all three days). So I spent New Year's Eve with Seanacey, my tea ceremony friend, and Kojiro. Kojiro's friend Mamu (an accomplished Japanese fashion designer) moved from Tokyo down the street from Kojiro and Seanacey a few weeks ago, and for New Year's about 10 more of their friends from Tokyo came. Also with us were Joann and Zac, two Whitman seniors last year that I had one class each with and never expected to see or talk to again. So it was a strange but wonderful and very fun group. For reasons I can't explain, I started the night with like 45 minutes alone with the Tokyo friends only, which was a lot of fun. We started drinking and ate some snacks and watched Japanese wrestling (not sumo, like legit wrestling) on TV. Then Kojiro, Mamu, Seanacey, Zac and Joann arrived, we hung out for a while longer, and then went to dinner. We got pretty drunk at dinner and then walked to Yasaka Shrine in the middle of Kyoto's downtown. We were there with thousands of people when midnight rolled around, and it was so cold but we were having a great time taking silly pictures and waiting to enter the shrine. At about 1205 I saw about 10 of my AKP peers who were tired of waiting, and about 1210 we got tired of waiting, and left. I wanted to hang out with those folks some more, but I came home and passed out...

...because I had to wake up at 545 to do a real hatsumode--the first shrine visit of the year, on New Year's Day--with my host parents. We left the house at 615 and went to three shrines. The first one, Iwashimizu Hachimanguu, was on the top of a mountain and we had to ride a cable car to get there. We received a Shinto blessing by a woman dancing around with some bells. For musical accompaniment, there was also a woman with a huge drum, a guy playing a flute, and a woman with small cymbals. The second shrine was called Jounangu. They gave us a little bit of sake and a keychain with a girl sitting inside a soup bowl. Finally we came home and then went to Iseda Jinja, which is a shrine only 5 minutes walk from my house, that I never knew existed because it is hidden inside a tiny alley that I never noticed before. They gave me a sweet soup called oshiruko and a LOT of sake and by the time we left I was drunk. And it was only 830am! We came home and had traditional Japanese New Year's breakfast (including, among other things, white miso soup with mochi, lotus root, egg, sweet black beans, some vegetables, fish, and many inedible-seeming other foods) and then I passed out. 

Today was the first day of Japanese department stores' Bargain week. I went to Uniqlo, sort of the Japanese Gap, and got lots of great stuff for a huge bargain. It was a great deal and it was so funny to see how many Japanese people will turn out for a huge annual sale. I will probably go back to Uniqlo before the week is out.

I hope everyone reading this had a lovely New Year/Christmas/Hanukah holiday season and is enjoying the first moments of 2009!

to-do

The things I do with Kendall are the stories that I like telling the most. On Friday night, she and I spontaneously decided to climb Daimonji. This is a mountain to the east of Kyoto with a huge 'dai' character 大 built into the hill face. Every year in the summer, there is a huge festival where they burn lamps within the character, lighting it up/on fire. The hike was short and easy, and the moon was full and huge and bright. We sat in the middle of the character, at the point where all the lines intersect, and we watched the glow of the city lights beneath us. I wrote this poem:

Daimonji at night

The full moon shines bright above

The city below

We brought some snacks and some sake, and when we went back to the city we went to a cafe that had surprisingly great falafel. 

This was probably the best way possible to celebrate the end of classes for the semester. They were something of a joke, and finishing my final projects and stuff was time consuming but I actually produced work I am (somewhat) proud of. This week I have finals for my Japanese class but I am not too worried about those either. 

I have been thinking a lot about many things, none of which I am in the presence of mind to write about here. But here is a list of things I would want to write something about: 

old/new

trees

time and place

when and where?

old people who want to be young

young people who want to be old

how little kids don't know anything

how little kids know way more than anybody

late autumn, just before early winter

early winter, just after late autumn

Sakyamuni Buddha

one life/many lives

the very hungry caterpillar

being a tourist

being a permanent resident

permanence?

the body as a portal

brains

beards

seasonal activities

things that happen once, ever

eyes

ears

how trees have eyes and ears

colors

inside/outside

absolute energy

amoebas

cities

amoebas that build cities

bicycles

memory as dream

the ocean

mountains

the desert

feeling good

When I woke up on Friday I was greeted by many members of my extended family, all gathered at my house for Thanksgiving. It was strange to not be there, my first Thanksgiving not at home, yet I was glad for the opportunity to see and talk to many family members that I have not heard from in a while. 

Then, I met Kendall at Doshisha for lunch and we saw some of the Doshisha Eve celebration. None of the Japanese students had class last week either, because all week long they were celebrating the founding of their university. Doshisha was a completely different campus than the one I go to every day. Every single club from both the Imadegawa and Kyotanabe campuses wanted me to buy the food they were cooking, but all Kendall and I wanted to do was watch some of the thousands of dance clubs perform on the enormous stage erected in the middle of campus. It felt like we were somewhere in America as hundreds of dancers performed pretty standard hip-hop and modern dance routines to American songs. If we were in Berkeley or Seattle there would even be the same percentage of Asians... (yet not all of them would be Japanese). 

This was followed by a great bike ride. I borrowed Kendall's host mom's bike and off we went to Ohara, a farming town northeast of Kyoto. We wanted to go to a famous temple there but it was overrun by tourists there to see the fall colors. Instead, we went on a small hike along the mountain path next to the temple. We still got to see amazingly beautiful fall colors (it turns out I take a lot of pictures of trees in this country) and it was far less touristy. We reached a waterfall and it seemed like a good place to have a Japanese tourist take our picture and then return on bike to Kyoto. Despite a little bit of rain on the ways there and back it was a beautiful day. I looked in my guidebook when I got home and it turns out the waterfall is famous, and called the Soundless Waterfall 音無しの滝. Saicho (who founded the temple we wanted to go to) meditated or something by the waterfall. 

Saturday I had my first taiko performance! What a funny event. It was in the train station at Okubo, two stops south of mine. Before my group performed, a local children's taiko group performed, and I am probably only slightly better than most of the kids in that group. One girl was super skillful at rhythms! Then Uzu, my group, played. I played on two out of five songs they performed, which was definitely an appropriate ratio. I only know four songs, but the children's group played the other two songs that I know. Setting up the drums probably the funniest part. It was super guerilla-style: two unmarked white vans pulled up next to the station, the 12 or so group members who were at this performance quickly unloaded all the equipment, and then the vans sped away. The same thing but in reverse occurred for the striking of the drums. 

Saturday night I went with my host mom and a bunch of her friends to a delicious Brazilian restaurant in downtown Kyoto. The food was great and there was a live bossa nova band. November 29 is 'delicious meat' day in Japan, because of a Japanese pun that I can't explain. This is a tradition I am very excited to bring back to the states. 

I have been getting some questions about my classes. Basically, they are pretty bad, one of the weakest points of the program and one of the main reasons why I will not recommend this program to future generations of Whitman Asian Studies majors. Yet I am very glad for my final projects--I finally have work to do! And since I chose the topics for my final projects I am very excited to complete them and to have something to show for my time this semester. My final project in Japanese class is an essay on why Walla Walla is my favorite place. I have a presentation for anime class on the film Paprika, and I am analyzing the relationship in that movie between dreams and movies. My final projects for Gardens and anime class are on the same theme: emptiness. I am looking at the rock garden of Ryoanji and the use of silence and silent moments in the films Princess Mononoke, Spirited Away, and Akira. The next two weeks before finals are going to be very busy but I am feeling focused and refreshed. 

fall broken

So my fall break trip to Kyuushuu was a mild disaster. It was fun, parts of it, but other parts were by turns stressful, uncomfortable, awkward.... I was led to believe that it was well planned and organized. Had I known beforehand that the trip leaders had in fact no idea what they were doing, I would not have gone. Anyway, I went, and saw some cool things, and spent entirely too much money, bonded a lot with Lindsay, and felt incredibly homesick. One question that came up was, what was I homesick for? Kyoto? Bay area? Walla Walla? Not Los Angeles, but I thought a lot about people in Los Angeles (as I always do). And on this note, in homage to The Flying Squirrel and to plagiarize my brother, here are the top 10 moments of my Kyuushuu trip. 

10. Spectacles Bridge, Sunday afternoon

Japan has some weird tourist sites. This is the oldest arched bridge in Japan, or something like that. It's in Nagasaki. I thought it was just a regular bridge, but I guess saying something is special makes it special, even if it's ordinary. 

9. Site of the Martyrdom of the 26 Saints of Japan

6 Christian Missionaries and 20 Japanese Christians were killed on this spot in Nagasaki. On Saturday night, we walked there after just arriving in Nagasaki. It was a really nice night out, and the hill had a pretty view of the harbor. 

8. Urakami Cathedral

Just after going to the Nagasaki Peace Park, we went to the Urakami Cathedral. It was the oldest church in Japan until it was destroyed in the a-bomb. I sat alone inside for a little bit and thought about the old churches I visited in Europe, the bomb, and religion. The church had really pretty stained glass windows. 

7. Nagasaki Peace Park, Sunday morning

The one in Hiroshima was definitely more powerful, but this one was really interesting. It had a lot of statues symbolizing peace. This is the big, famous one; the right arm points to the threat of nuclear weapons and the left arm signifies a peaceful future (?). Fun fact: my host mom's best friend's uncle designed it! 

6. Karaoke in Kagoshima, Monday and Tuesday nights

By the time we got to Kagoshima, after being in Fukuoka and then Nagasaki, we were fed up and exhausted. Lindsay's all-purpose solution: Karaoke! This was actually only the second (and third) times I have been to karaoke in Japan, and as a result of this trip I am going to start going more, it's definitely a great way to spend some time and relieve some stress. 

5. Dinosaur Park

On Tuesday, we took a ferry from Kagoshima across the bay to Sakurajima. This was our first stop. Why there are giant dinosaurs is beyond me. But it was some more grass we got to lie on. 

4. Arriving at the hotel in Kagoshima

We arrived in Kagoshima around 2 on Monday but didn't leave the station until 345 or so. This was the moment when our trip really fell apart. Earlier that morning I had decided I wanted to come home early, and dealing with ticket stuff and planning for the remainder of the week was really stressful and annoying. Lindsay and I could only laugh when we saw our tiny hotel room. 

3. Furusato Onsen

The main reason we went to Sakurajima was to go to this onsen (bath house). It was absolutely beautiful, probably the most amazing onsen I will ever go to. There is this giant, old, crazy tree next to a shrine. Sitting in the hot water underneath the tree's roots was like being in a mermaid's grotto. The bath is pretty much on the ocean, so it looks like the water in the bath extends out into the ocean. When I got too hot, I cooled off in the cold ocean water before getting back into the hot water. We timed our arrival really well with sunset, and the view was so breathtaking. 

2. Sangen'en, Tuesday morning

This was a famous villa back in the day, with an amazing garden. When I entered the garden I realized that this was why I had gone all the way to Kyuushuu. Back in the day, poets would sit along the banks of the stream. Cups of sake on boards of wood would float down the stream towards them, and they would have to write a poem before the sake reached them. Upon finishing the poem they would drink the sake. 

1. Returning to Kyoto

There's no place like home. As a result of this trip, I am sort of disillusioned by travel. Fukuoka, Nagasaki, and Kagoshima were all nice cities, but more and more I understand that cities are more or less all sort of the same, and not necessarily worth traveling to. I am glad that the next trip I take will be with my mom (there's that homesick thing again). 

* * *

In other news, today is Thursday, making it Thanksgiving. I spent all day today decompressing from my trip. I cooked my own breakfast, read, watched some movies, colored, took a little nap... I am very thankful for being able to be in Japan, I am very thankful for my host parents, I am very thankful that there are people far away in other parts of the world who are maybe reading these words and thinking about me, and I am thankful that I am able to think about them.